Coping with loss, finding new life

In our clinic we look after people with paraplegic and brain injuries, so we are concerned on a daily basis with the theme of winning and losing. Despite the patient’s initial gratitude at having survived, a brain injury or a paraplegic condition can mean losing everything. Suddenly no longer to be able to walk, to speak, to be independent. Most people react to this with grief. Whether professional, family or friends, it is painful to become dependent on other people for the everyday things of life. It takes time to adapt and it needs courage.
In our ‘have society’, for young people especially it is not easy to be cut out of normal life. For some to be a loser rather than a winner is almost unbearable.

Grief accepted, grief overcome

This means that, together with patients, we need to find ways to help them overcome their grief, and to discover and develop a new self-image. This can entail a far-reaching review of one’s ideas and values. Yet in our daily work it is remarkable to observe how successful this can be.
Meeting loss with grief is understandable. Accepting loss in one’s own life is a painful but important process. It can lead to the experience that in reality winning and losing go together in life. This is the art of life that we try to develop together with our patients.

In life winning and losing belong together

Clearly, old age and death have to do with loss. Both are unavoidable aspects of our life, even if modern society would like it to be otherwise.
Exactly the opposite should be expected: Accepting that winning and losing are both part of life would make the integration of our patients and people with special needs so much easier, at the same time as making society that much more human.